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From a Crab's Perspective

Blog
by Ann Ulrich Miller

Posted on April 24, 2008 by Web Dreams

I NEED A VACATION!

I NEED A VACATION. But I'm not getting one.

I'm stuck here for an undetermined amount of time, and I've got to find a way to make the best of it.

Making the best of it has become my theme the last several months. When we first moved here, everything was exciting and good. My husband felt a whole lot better than he did at 6,000 feet and had improved somewhat. Now, he's back to where he was when we left Colorado, and maybe even worse than at that time. What a bummer.

I can't go out and get a job, which would add some spice to my life... because I'm needed here at home, now more than ever. I know I'm appreciated, but I do get fed up now and then with my role and the fact that I'm so limited when I have skills that are not being used.

Why am I being so selfish? I need to give my full attention to my husband right now. He needs me more than ever. That's fine. But when the good days come, and he seems to do very well for himself, I drop back into a kind of depression. It seems life just drags on.

Since we got settled a little over a year ago, I've moved full force into my writing, which is a very good thing, for at least it has made me productive. I am not one who sits around, doing nothing, watching the tube. As a matter of fact, I can only take about ten minutes a day of the evening news, and then I can't help it, I just have to jump up and move on to something else.

Usually it's work. I work constantly. If I'm not working at my writing, or some publishing project, I'm doing dishes, baking bread, washing clothes, pruning shrubs, house-cleaning, filing papers or finding some other "busy project" with which to occupy my time when I'm not waiting on my husband hand and foot.

I'm not complaining about my life. I have a fairly good life, considering I get to stay at home and do a lot of what I have always wanted to do... writing when the urge comes over me. I'm just feeling frustrated because too much work makes me weary and my creative juices are starting to go sour. That's not good.

Going somewhere... by myself... would be such a perk. I'd love to see something new, visit some antiquity somewhere, hike in a national park, get to talk to someone other than the chickens, my dog, my cat and my husband. After all, it's the experiences of life that make writing material. I feel too secluded, too reclusive right now.

No wonder I'm feeling anxious and impatient with Life.

But I also believe everything occurs for a reason. And I also know that Change is Inevitable. One day I will wake up and find that my whole world has changed. I may not like that day. Therefore, I had better count my blessings and be grateful for this special time in my life, which I can one day look back on and say, "Yes... those were the days..."


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BE SURE TO CHECK OUT my new column at the Denver Examiner, where you can find articles on Relationship Transition.

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